The Temptation Factor

I have to admit, when I started writing this blog, I thought it was going to be a lot more "Pop Culture" centered and a lot less personal. But, I've noticed the stories I enjoy writing the most are, in true narcissist fashion, about me and my life, and this time it's no different. So deal with it.

Today's topic is Temptation.

Everybody deals with temptation, in fact, most societal and social constructs are BASED on temptation. RELIGION is based out of temptation, all because some bitch decided she needed that APPLE instead of one of the many delicious animals around her. Seriously, that APPLE over a nice venison stew? This proves my point that Vegetarianism is INHERENTLY evil, but I digress.

Look at Her...Just EVIL.

In making these changes in my life, I notice that I am being tempted a LOT. None of it is purposeful, but since i've never made the conscious decision to say NO to something I wanted but knew wasn't good for me before, I am now faced with decisions and situations i've never dealt with before.

Smoking is of course the biggest one. Since i've stopped smoking it seems like the rest of the world has started up. I was downtown the other day with a friend and it seemed like everybody around me was smoking, lighting up, taking the delicious smoke into their lungs and exhaling it like kings, while I scratched my Nicotine patch and ate a salad.

"Look At Me! On TOP of the Fuckin' World!"

On my walk home, I passed three people just walking along the street, smoking, living their lives, their devil may care attitudes almost bitch slapping in the face as I drank my iced coffee and went about my day. Had I stopped smoking I never would have noticed this. I wouldn't care, because I would be one of them. "Oh you're smoking? Well watch me smoke two at ONCE! God I feel so ALIVE!" But i'm not, and I can't help but feel like maybe I am missing out on something, as stupid as I know that to be. I actually LIKE not smoking, I feel better, I don't cough up my lungs every morning, I feel I have more energy, blood is actually circulating through my body again, and I don't smell like smoke, still I can't help but feel like i'm missing out.


The other thing is eating. I have eaten more vegetables, fish, etc. in the past week than I have in all of 2011 and, again I feel REALLY good, but I just keep getting faced with these decisions i've never had to make before. My partner happens to be one of those blessed with a very small frame and fast metabolism. He doesn't eat SUPER healthy, but he does okay, and hell for the most part, we end up eating the same thing. His waist remains the size of a Russian Ballerina while my waist size expands to that of the iceberg that sunk the Titanic. It's not fair, and i've learned to accept it.

I Only Eat Air!

Mmm, Bitch! Bring Me More GRAVY!

He is super supportive of the new choices i've made, but he also isn't going out of his way to help out, and I don't expect him to. He has two kids, and they aren't going to eat seared ahi tuna steaks, they want BBQ Chicken and Potato Salad, they want Burgers and the like, and I could eat like that if I wanted it. It's right in front of me, it's already prepared. Some would say just go to the gym and burn it off but I am not doing this in order to just lose weight, i'm doing it as a part of an extreme personal makeover. I want to be healthy. I don't want to lose my leg to Diabetes at 30. I want to LIVE dammit, I want to LIVE! I have to look at the burgers people are eating around me, and try to enjoy my Turkey Burger (and before ANYBODY says anything, it's NOT the fucking same. A Turkey Burger will NEVER taste as good as a regular burger because it's a TURKEY!)

Turkey Burger = Not the Business.

We are told VERY conflicting things about temptation. In terms of dieting, one line of thought is that you shouldn't withhold certain things from yourself because they will drive you crazy and you will fall off the wagon and the other side says PUT DOWN THAT DONUT FATASS AND GET ON THE TREADMILL. What's a guy to do?

Here is what i've come to believe about temptation. There are certain things that you just don't ever do...like kill somebody (unless you know you will CERTAINLY get away with it). Don't overindulge in temptation otherwise it's not a temptation, it's a habit, it's normal. There is NO mystique about this behavior. It becomes who you are. You will be the bitch everybody knows that can clear a buffet in 3.5 and have room for the Tiramisu.

"Hey Ya'll! Did Somebody Say Buffet? Gimme, Gimme More...HOTWINGS!"

 

 

I also believe that you DO need room in order to give into temptation, because a lot of times we beat ourselves up too much about things. Having a handful of chips isn't going to kill you, Eating Six Bags of Chips will Stop Your Heart. So... I guess I am a fan of the addage "Everything in Moderation" which is why I guess this has been a difficult time for me as I only EVER do anything in excess... I don't want one drink, I want to get chocolate wasted. I don't want just a few chips, I want the whole damn bag, I don't want one cigarette, I want one coming out of every oraphus of my body all at once. I guess i'm just learning to apply this factor the healthy parts of my life. I can eat a shit ton of carrots if I want. I can work out until I want to pass out, and I can drink water like it WILL get me mothafuckin' chocolate wasted, and the GOOD part about this is that the more I indulge in the healthy side of things, the more I can feel GOOD about myself when I do decide to engage in the healthy social binge drinking I like to do every now and again.

The EPITOME of Chocolate Wasted? Wait, is this Racist?

So, my advice to those that are maybe going through what I am right now, who feel a little over their heads with the New Years Resolutions you've made, is that EVERYDAY is a choice. EVERYDAY is a new day, and you know what, when I do small things, I reward the shit out of myself, I make everybody nauseaus with telling them how good a job I did, even if it's I ate a bag of carrots instead of having a cigarette or a pound of Chow Mein. Talk it out, share your excitement, because you know, your friends WANT you to be healthy, they want you to be happy, and make good decisions, and who knows, maybe celebrating the small victories will lead to celebrating bigger victories, and you just might inspire one of your OWN friends to make a change for themselves?

"Save the Cheerleader, Save the World"

Okay, I feel SUPER Self Help Book Right Now, so I am going to quit while i'm ahead. Keep on Keeping On, and Stay Strong, Temptation Warriors.