This year, 2012 is the year that I.... would like to quit smoking.
There, I said it! Oh the shame! I've always been pretty shameful about smoking...I don't like a lot of people in my everyday life to know that I smoke outside of when I am drinking socially, and it's because it's so socially unacceptable in the states. No matter who you are, or how good you look, when somebody sees you smoking, hell when even I, a smoker, sees somebody smoking, I instantly judge them a little, or think a little less of them, or think "What else don't I know about this person?" which is crazy. They are still the same person, they just smoke.. but it's that kind of opinion I don't want cast upon me, which is why I try to hide it.
Here let me prove my point... Take the beautiful Ryan Gosling:
Goddammit...I would let that man PEE on me if he wanted. If you need a few moments before you come back to this post, I understand completely...take your time...
Now, little known fact about Ryan Gosling is that he is in fact, a smoker.
And...sure, he stills looks beautiful. Gorgeous, Slap-Your-Mama Hot...but now that you've seen this... don't you feel a little betrayed... like how you didn't know about this? How your opinion of him may have changed...how he seems to sparkle a little LESS? That is what I have dubbed as "Smokerism".
Smokerism (Noun): The act of characterizing a person based on the fact that they are a smoker.
We ALL suffer from this prejudice, even myself. When I see a beautiful woman smoking, my mind immediately goes.. "Oh...but she's so pretty..why does she have to smoke?" I think we all do and that is one of the many reasons I want to quit smoking. I want people to judge me just for me, and not because of a bad habit i've picked up.
I've also been in a pretty serious relationship with someone for the past year and he has made it clear that he doesn't want to date a smoker, to which i've said "Well I don't to date an ASSHOLE!" until I quickly realize that this is the nicotine withdrawal talking, and not me. It takes him a little longer to get over it though ;) (Love You, Boo).
Smoking is also a hard lifestyle to keep up. Public Places all around the country are placing smoking bans on bars, restaurants, even outside within a certain amount of feet in places. For the smoker, this is difficult, especially if none of your other friends are smokers. Picture it.. you've had a great meal at a bar/restaurant, and everyone is staying for more drinks. You are having a great time, but then, you get that "I'm so full I need a cig to make it feel better" feeling, and step outside to smoke... alone. It looks something like this:
(Click here for accompanying theme music to the Lonely Smoker)
It removes you from times that you could be bonding/having fun with the people around you, all because you need a fix. Plus, everyone knows that is where you went, and the Smokerism continues.
On that topic, besides being overweight, I believe smoking to be one of the most openly criticized acts today. I have friends that drink more than I ever possibly could in a week, in one night, but still feel the need to tell me how bad smoking is for me.. and while I believe and know that smoking is bad for me...I also know that alcohol is bad for me, and while smoking is a bigger cause of death in the states, alcohol related deaths are on the climb. Drinking can kill you in one night, and you are far likely to accidently kill somebody ELSE while under the influence of alcohol than nicotine. I also want to point out that people think they are HELPING others when they point out that somebody is smoking, or points out the risks of smoking, and I just want to say this.....
IT DOESN'T.
As smokers, we know smoking is bad... we've gotten the same education our whole lives about it that you have. We know... it's an addiction for a reason, because it's hard to stop. It's more than just letting the cigarette go, or putting the bottle down, that's why they have medications, pills, e-cigs, all to help people quit. People are twice as likely to quit with the assistance of these products. Also on a side note... just as smoking is bad for me, there are many decisions in your life that you make that are bad for you, and I wonder how you would feel if everytime you were at a party and took a sip of alcohol somebody, or a group of you came up and said "Whoah! Drinking is so bad for you! Gross! Stop It!" It would irritate the shit out of you. Of course you know excessive drinking and getting shit faced isn't the best thing for you, but at that moment you want to get your swirve on and dance on top of tables. It's no different. All I am saying is why do people feel the need to completely disregard their OWN bad habits to tell me to put down the cigarette?
In conclusion, I think we've established the following.
1. Smoking = Bad
2. I Need to Quit
3. Try to Educate Me About Smoking = Painful Slow Death for You Involving a Potato Peeler
4. Your Choices = No Better or Worse than My Choices.
So I will put this out here to my friends, while I go through this process, many things will happen to me. I will get moody, I will try to eat anything in your house to curb my need to smoke, even your drywall... THAT you can stop me from. If you see me out with a cigarette in my mouth, don't come up to me and refer to this blog and ask how the stopping smoking is going because that will just make you an ASSHOLE. What I need is support... I am already an emotionally needy person. I need everything about me to be validated by others. I'm vapid and shallow...but at least i'm pretty. When I pop a piece of gum, instead of a cigarette, make a big ass stink about it. Throw me a party, buy me an award, write me an epic poem, scuplt me something out of clay to show how happy and supportive you are of my not smoking. Don't take a principled stand that really just makes YOU feel like you stood for something, and in the end just makes ME feel like a judged piece of shit. Believe me, nobody wants to know what it's like to feel like Courtney Love all the time. So, just keep that in mind.
And i'm Out. Since 2005 (C)
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