The Gay Community where I live is very small... So small that we have in fact that we all know each other...so small that we all know about each others bowel movements. Seriously. It's a small community, but for the most part, it's a great community. There is a bigger sense of family then in communities I've lived in the past. We may fight, we may make bitchy "Real Housewives" like comments to each other, but at the end of the day, most of us realize that we are "family" no matter how dysfunctional.
For those of you who don't know, the town I live in is Chico, California. It's a town about an hour and fifteen minutes outside of Sacramento, and has quite the reputation. Chico is home to California State University, Chico, and was once listed as one of the top party schools in the country by Playboy Magazine, a mantle that some citizens have worn with pride for the last 25 years, and others have tried desperately to change. That being said, if you read my last blog, you know that there IS an incredible amount of drinking and partying that goes on in this town due to the extremely young and agile student population every year. You would think Chico, CA to be an extremely liberal town, and for the most part it is, but when you mix alcohol, naivety and that good old youthful James Dean "Rebel Without a Cause" attitude, you get problems.
There is no official gay bar in Chico. Every bar that has been officially designated as "Gay" in Chico has failed miserably, but there are certain bars in town that understand, realize and accept that fact that Gay people in this town want to get their party on too, they want to meet and get to know other gay people in the community, and they will go just to about any bar that will cater to them. Panama's in Chico is one of the more popular destination and has adopted an "unofficial" gay night every Wednesday that has surged in popularity over the last few years. It's necessarily advertised or marketed to gay people, but every gay person in town knows that if you wanted to meet gay people outside of something like Grindr or Adam4Adam in Chico (what do Lesbians use? Eve4Eve?) you go to Panama's on Wednesday, a mantle I think the bar should wear with pride. The other bar that caters to and understands the Gay community in Chico is relatively new. It's called the "Maltese" and every Friday Night they hold a "Gay" Night with drink specials and the like, and I want to SAY to the owner of the Maltese that have a "Gay" Night on a Weekend Night in this town is REALLY big, and I absolutely commend and respect her for that. The atmosphere of the bar isn't 100% gay, but it's always very friendly, very much so like a Gay version of "Cheers".
On some of these Friday Nights, there are Drag Shows, an art that seems to be slowly dying in Chico, but still seem to garner a good amount of success and bring a crowd. One of these shows happened to be on February 4th, 2012. That night, my friend Brian Denham was the victim of a hate crime.
It was a completely ordinary Friday Night at the Maltese and if anything I will say it was actually rather busy. I had came with my boyfriend to support our fellow drag queen and good friend, Miss Mini Merna. The show seemed to go off without a hitch. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits, and just really enjoying themselves. I remember running into and saying hello to Brian and if there is one thing that I DO want known about Brian, at least in my opinion is that Brian is an absolute joy to talk to. He is kind, he is warmhearted and just a jovial person. He is the kind of guy you want around you because he is uplifting. I'm not going to canonize him, because everyone has both good and bad points, but from everything I've ever seen of Brian, he is a decent and fun, lighthearted person, the last kind of person you would think would end up with his head cracked open on a street corner downtown.
I left early that night. I had to work in the morning, and remember like I said, i'm trying not to be all Courtney Love all the time anymore, so I went home, laid my head on my pillow and went to sleep. The next morning was beautiful and when I went on Facebook, I had learned something terrible at happened. At first nobody was saying anything about who it was, just some very cryptic status updates about a friend getting beat up downtown and that they were at the hospital. Later on that day, the details went through the rumor mill, and the very small gay community of Chico had gotten the details.
According to accounts, Brian and a few friends had walked further downtown to stop at a Jack in the Box to get some food in their stomachs after a great night. Two of his friends were still in Drag attire from the show. As they stood in line, a group of guys entered the Jack in the Box and began making derogatory slurs about race (one of the friends was African American) and sexual orientation. Now I don't know about you, but having been faced with similar situations before, when your safety is in question, you do what everyone does when being bullied. You try to ignore it. After some back and forth exchange, the group of guys left the line without ordering food and said something about "waiting outside" for Brian and his friends, and sure enough when Brian and his friends were done eating, the guys were outside, waiting for them.
The taunting continued, and when Brian made remarks back, he was allegedly sucker punched in the head. Brian chased after the man but apparently fell to the street after some time, landing face first on the pavement, it was at that point that one of the other "suspects" caught up with Brian, and allegedly stepped on his neck, essentially scraping his head against the pavement. Brian was taken to our local hospital and stayed in the Hospital overnight, he required seven stitches in his head and an orbital injury to one eye, which left no permanent damage...but that doesn't show you how he felt, or what his friends looked at when they dragged his body out of the street. It looked like THIS:
Terrible. What's even more terrible is the handling of the assault by the media and seeming division amongst the gay community about whether or not this is technically classified as a hate crime. I'm including a link to the news article for people to read in here because I think it's important.
Chico ER - Attack May Not Be A Hate Crime
I think it's important to note that this article does not state that Brian was with two others who happened to be in drag, and make it a point to reiterate the fact that he sustained no PERMANENT damage.
Police Chief Mike Maloney goes on to say this:
"This may have stemmed from a hate incident, but that doesn't necessarily make it a hate crime," Maloney said, adding that a crime appears to have been committed, but, depending on the seriousness of the injuries, may only be chargeable as misdemeanor battery."
So, does one have to have the word "FAGGOT" etched in his face to classify it a hate crime? If there is only light bruising it's NOT a hate crime? Me? I personally believe that this is a Hate Crime. I don't know the full details but when I search for the actual legal definition of a Hate Crime, I found this site, which seems to say it very clearly.
Legal Definition of a Hate Crime
Some in the Gay community think that this is not a hate crime... that it might have been motivated or brought on the comments and actions of Brian and his friends, and you know what? Maybe that's true, maybe Brian and his friends DID agitate things with their words, but I have to wonder, would this situation ever have arrived if Brian and his friends were women? If Brian and his friends were straight and none of them were in Drag garb to begin with? Would this have even started if Brian had been by himself? I don't think so. Even if alcohol was a factor in the situation. Brian and his friends were TARGETED because of the way he and his friends appeared, which was GAY. That's it. The fact that a large part of the gay community opposes this, somewhat enrages me.
It's a victim mentality, the rape spiral. Society tells us it's our fault, if we would have just "acted" normal this wouldn't have happened. We deserved it. If Brian would have just kept his mouth shut none of this would have ever happened. It's his fault, and to them I say, this is a very unfortunate example of how when we as a COMMUNITY need to come together, we choose to DIVIDE ourselves on the issue. BRIAN DENHAM took a stand...FOR YOU. He made a choice that said, I am not going to let somebody insult the very fiber of my being, I am going to say something, to stand up for my friends, he was UNKNOWINGLY PROTECTING YOUR RIGHTS FOR YOU, in a society where we tend to want to reap the benefits of the hard work of OTHERS.
I think so many times as a community we isolate ourselves within, especially in the gay community of Chico. The lesbians rarely hang out with the gay men, there are certain social groups within social groups within social groups that unwittingly tear each other down simply for not being a part of the group, but what we are forgetting here is that a member of our FAMILY was hurt and BEATEN and the reason is something we, in the gay community all share. Our sexuality. Lucky be the ones who are never taunted. Lucky be the ones that never get flack for being who they are. But the people, who are BOLD enough to wear Drag in public, for our ENTERTAINMENT, the people who fly their flag high and proud and are able to deal with the backlash they receive, it's THOSE we should be thanking. It's people like BRIAN we SHOULD be supporting, not speculating...
Is it going to take something like this happening to YOU to change your mind? Are you going to have to get your FACE ground into the street to get you to realize that there are people out there that make stupid decisions. Decisions to hate, to not understand? We can NO LONGER be divided as a community if we expect to get ANYTHING accomplished in Chico that promotes equality for ALL peoples. It is times like this when we need to take a STAND, to show people that THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE. NOT IN OUR TOWN. We need to BE the change we wish to see. WE need to ACT.
I wrote this in order to raise AWARENESS. PLEASE link to it, PLEASE retweet it, PLEASE comment on it, PLEASE get it out there. PLEASE, do something.
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